Once.

Once I had a great big story

Full of sadness and drama,

All I could want of it for years.

And. It. Choked. Me.

Once. I. Had. A. Past.

And that’s it.

Life is precious in the moment,

Never looking back.

Thank God for pruning shears.

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It’s Like That

I loved.

Flawed, stunted,

By the shape,

I was in, and,

Yes, the loss was pain,

But it was also,

The release I needed,

From the bondage of a life,

I chose but did not understand.

This is a truth that took a long time to learn.

Present Lens

In these moments,

I look at myself,

As through a crystal drop,

Seeing magnified,

My splinters, spiraled,

Inside, whirled,

Passing dreams before,

My skin has been dried,

By summers long passed,

Where freedom birthed dreams,

Within a vacuum of control-

I sometimes long to tell her,

That girl, who dreamed new worlds-

Ah, but no, she deserves the freedom,

Oh choices as yet unknown.

Shouting into the Void,

Does not unmake me,

Yet my heart shakes,

As though tossed out.

The wind is cold,

The air is dry,

My mouth turns to cotton.

I am not uncreated –

Just shaken, wandering,

Lost in the dark night,

Praying for my soul-

Praying to be guided,

To higher grounds,

Within these fleshy walls-

And if no one hears my words,

Perhaps they intuit to my prayer.

Friendship

Reaching out

To find closed fists.

This is the truth

Of expectation

Meeting reality.

I am tired

Of causing

My own disappointment.

I will open my hands,

Walk my own direction

Instead of yours,

Leave myself

Free to encounter

An engagement,

Instead of a chase.

This is the fertile ground

Of acceptance and respect.